June 9, 2012

Poem To Family:  That Does not believe in me.

You don't know me
You only witnessed my crisis
I called out of fear
Because, you were MY family

I was not asking for much
Just your shoulder to cry on
What you gave me that day
Was more tears that will never DRY 

All I wanted was someone that loved me
To say it's okay if your weak 
You can depend on me
I asked too much--- Because you came down on me

You reinforced what I knew, 
I have NO family,  I just needed a shoulder
I didnt realize I asked too much
I would have given mine, HAVE Given-mine to you

Now I KNOW different
I am alone --I knew but now I KNOW!
 I have learned-- and I'm better
Knowing my Dogs are my real friends

You always told me you were better than me
You were in control and you belittled
My life,  because it was not structured
Like you need ALL THINGS to be.

I have always lived free and true
And yes it has cost me
Because I am not like YOU!
I didn't realize Truth was HARD for you

I took the abuse from our Redneck past
You judged through your looking glass
I am sorry I called, this last time my dear
Because your vile response was our (YOUR) last chance.

Our relationship is broken
like a vase you can not repair
I can hope next time Someone
you will -Understand-- You care.

Let's face it
You care more about appearance
You will never be ---more than me
We come from Country ignorance

I accept mine, I'm ILL  but I am free
You all pressed me to take on a Corporate life
All I could see was Incompetant IDIOTS waiting in line
AND  I became  a Drummer,  A Singer,  A Dreamer,  A Rodeo Queen.

When I die ---I will have done
 everything I wanted to do
I didn't wait for The appropriate time
To have fun--- when your 65.

My body imprisons and tortures me
Dr's and friends can not wrap their mind
Around anything I do or SAY.
I am still here--For some reason --so I still TRY

To help The others like ME!
Society, Medical and Government
Has left behind
I'm here to help, but losing hope--
From time to after time


Evie Koehler said...

You are so awsome girl! I love how real you are and words of wisdom! You inspire me to blog and my life with Fibro. Your more special then you know..thank you

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